He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
