I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize