perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize