I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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