Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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