when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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