i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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