Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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