Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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