he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
