she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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