I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
They are going to name an STD after you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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