he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
