I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize