she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
