I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
