i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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