I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
