I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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