If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
accomplished twins. life is a go
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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