He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
