I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
