I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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