we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
