i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
