And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
