We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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