The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
