Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
