On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
