You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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