So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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