she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize