Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
