Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
