Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
