You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
