Im at strip club and am horny
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
