toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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