This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Found the puke drawer
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
