Can Purell be used as lube?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
