Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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