Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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