No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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