Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
