That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
