when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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