She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
