Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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