i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
