We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
