when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize