break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
