apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I had to cum in my sink.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
