I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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