I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
