my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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