I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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