one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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