can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
is it fun? or sober?
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