Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
