We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
