I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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